Be The Change

Why do you think there are influx into countries like UK, America, Canada, Germany and some other developed countries? Your guess is as right as mine, people flocking into these countries because it’s a  conducive place to live where their leaders are working and the citizens are also supporting to see that their nation become an admirable place to live .

                                           

Let Love Reign

I saw nature in rain and i saw nature in love than hatred, i also saw nature as a gift from God. Hatred is a sickness, not meaness and Love is cure.

My message is to the number one citizen and the entire chain of command of leadership and we the people of this promising nation from across the six geo-political zones. To the president of Nigeria to whom i believe carries the burden and the power of the constitution, the power that binds the oath;to protect, to preserve and to defend, can do more in securing the lives of the citizens of our nation, restore hope, inspire the nation to embrace love and burn hatred to ashes. Let me remind us all that the weapon of love has power over all weapon of weapons. Love can sink poverty, love can light darkness, love can combust the incombustible flames of the soul. Love can sweep away greed and bigotry. Love can beautify and redeem the desert. Love can unite a disunited nation under God. Love can chase darkness out of their hidden and closed places. Love can crackdown the walls of ignorance. 

How To Stop Worrying

Do you feel like you worry too much about every little thing that happens in your life? Are you so concerned that your worries will happen that you don’t live your life to the fullest? 
The happiest people take a long-term view of life rather than allowing themselves to be caught up in the turmoil and details of each day.
 They take things one day at a time. They teach themselves how to stop worrying by practicing a greater degree of detachment and thereby keep themselves calm and relaxed in the face of life’s little ups and downs.

Are Fathers Failing

I wonder why many women always complain about man negligence towards the family and the ordeal they have experience in the hand of man. I have met many woman that have the same experience of what they have face in the hand of man that don't care about the children and their wife and I keep wondering what is wrong with our fathers and I can't stop asking, Are Fathers Really Failing, Where Are Fathers Failing and Why Are Fathers Failing. Are Fathers Really Failing

                                                    Are Fathers Really Failing

 Let me make this clear before will proceed that Father is different from a Man with children, if so who is a Father?

Bridget Elesin said in her book called Fathers You Must Take the Lead that some men are sperm donor. You know during fertilization both partner will donate half/half, man will produce sperm while the woman will produce the egg before fertilization can occur, 

She make it clear that some man father role ends here after fertilization, they don't care about the baby nor the woman again. Then who is a Father?

                                                  Who Is A Father

A Father can be a Man or a Woman, what makes a person a Father is how they can take care of the family, care for them, provide all their needs, paying of the children bills, playing with them, helping them and spending time with them. Most men only think that their role as a father is to supply the family with money to get what they want without caring how the fare, most men see their family as a burden on them, most children don't even recognize their father why would they?, when it is only the mother they see often, that care for them even their fees, they believe it is from their mother because father are not always there.

The Bible says "teach your children and when he grow he will not depart from it" no wonder their are increase in crime rate in this generation such as robbery, killing, drug lord, gangsters, raping and terrorism to mention but little, all this can be trace to poor fatherly role in their life Many fathers are failing in this aspect .

                                               Where Are Fathers Failing

 Some Fathers are failing no doubt and if they are where are they failing?

For us to say this is where fathers are failing we must first know the role of fathers.

 What are the roles of Fathers The role of fathers are everything in the family but to mention little they are:-

1-      Good Example:- life of a father is like a book the children read, Fathers are watched, their actions, and deeds, fathers are to be a good example in character and conversation.

2-       Teacher:- Bridget Elesin said in her book that the Jew (The Israeli) have very few numbers of people in prisons because they have fathers to teach them right from their infant to adult. Fathers are teacher they are to teach their children good manner and moral lessons, in the ways of God the Bible says "Teach your children the way he should go, and when he grows he shall not depart from it.

3-      Provider:- Providing for the family is one of the crucial role of fathers they are to provide everything that is needed by their children and their wife like money, food, love and gift etc

4-      Priest:- Fathers are like spiritual being which their children look up to, to learn all the ways of The Lord from and should always teach them how to pray and encouraging them spiritually

5-      Love,

6-      Servant,

7-      Trainer,

8-       Companion and

9-      Playmate.

If you study the roles fathers listed above, you will see some roles of Father where some fathers are failing, some father don't live an exemplary life they preach "do as I say not do as I do" and research shows that children learn quick with what they see, some fathers have lost the trust of their family, they don't trust them, when you promise and fail to fulfill it,

Fathers cheat on their mother and you don't keep your word there is no way you can be trust by them,

 Love, most men don't love their wife and the moment the children can detect this no way for them to love you back.

If you study the fathers that have or are failing, you will discover that all the point listed above is where they have failed

                                           Why Are Fathers Failing

                         "What you don't have you cannot give"

I study the life of fathers that are failing and those that have failed as a father and I can see that during their childhood their fathers also failed, they failed to show them what fathers are to his children and most of our present fathers grow to learn that being a father has no to task play (only to be a sperm donor) and that only the mother are left to care for the kids., this is what there own father did in their own time and its sad that what their father don't show them they can't show their own children, what their father don give them they can't give it to their children because they don't have it.

And another reason why fathers fails is illiteracy, most of our grand fathers and fathers are polygamous in nature, they marry many wives and have lots of children which they cannot train and some don't attend schools or drop out of school in their youth due to polygamy family they came from, and struggling to make money for the family, some also use the children to raise money too and their are some useless father that see them self as the Lord of the house caring less about the family and keep increasing the numbers.

Poverty can also be link to the reason for the failure of some fathers, when the father have no enough money to cater for his family, he will be avoiding or even left his family when he can no longer cope. (This is very common in the western world like Europe America and the rest)

Another reason why some father fail is lack of role model or bad role model, findings shows that people are likely to behave just like the person they look up to as role model.

 In a situation where a man has a bad role model or doesn't have, he will always behave just like the role model.

Now that we have talk about where and why fathers are failing I think will need to talk on how to stop it, that coming fathers will not join the league of failed fathers

The first thing I will suggest is choose a.

1 Role Model , by selecting a role model will make you decide the type of father you want to be by following the behavior of your model.

2 Read Books:- Reading of related Books can also help you becoming a good father, there are many of them but I will suggest one for you latter.

3 Decision:- Making the decision that you will not fail as a father will make you work daily towards achieving the goal you set

4 Pray while you go- it is only the grace of God that can help you become a good father, so rely on Him and He will see you through.

 For more on this subject Get Fathers You Must Take the Lead by Bridget Elesin you can get the review of the book and how to get it on ToluBooks here  www.tolubooks.com/2013/05/buy-now-fathers-you-must-take-lead.html

Welcome to the new world of successful fathers 

And please drop your comment for us to know how to serve you better thanks

Sex Education To The Young

 Sex education,orientation. To the young

SEX: TAKE YOUR CHILD OFF THE PLATTER
we didn't speak of sex
until virginity became ex

Sex is not a meal, everyone eats it. But it is not so much the eating as WHO does the eating.

Some little children in primary school will amaze you with their knowledge of the ‘Theory and Practice of Sex’.

Sad thing is many of them were initiated by much older predators, sometimes close uncles and aunties.

Worse still, it is the girls that suffer the most. They are the ones that risk getting pregnant, socially stigmatised and suffer the dashing of promising futures.

It’s sad indeed.

we didn't speak of decency
until abuse triggered urgency

So when I listen to young lads and lasses talking about sex and relationships these days, I just shudder.

The other day, I wrote about a 17 year old that I overheard telling his same-age friend about his lovers who discovered he had been playing them both, and having sex with them!

Hmm!

little boy knows the path
he's given many breasts a pat

Well, not long ago, a 6 year old girl I used to playfully call my wife told me she wanted to tell me something.

"Tell me," I said. At that time she was sitting on my laps in their living room, with her father and mother present.

What she whispered into my ear shocked me.

"You said I'm your wife. So when are we going to have a baby?"

I was shocked, but she was not done. "Mummy and daddy did it yesterday."

I was embarrassed beyond my wits. Thank God no one else heard what she said. So I quietly dropped the girl to the next chair to me and never played with her again.

little girl fears not the pestle
she's pleased the rough and gentle

Just imagine if I was a paedophile, looking for preys? Isn’t that a free ticket to warped pleasure?

Hmm!

After some investigations, I realised that the parents watch all sorts of films, even those with clear sex scenes, with the girl and her little sister watching. Add this with the other times the girl must have caught her parents having sex.

In some other families it is not a case of access to such pornographic situations that damage the children; it is the lack of parental guidance!
Some parents think it is not good to tell their children about sex.

No, it is not wrong. If you don’t tell them about it and what to do in every situation, including pregnancy and disease preventive methods, someone else will tell them.

Even as you hammer it into their ears that ABSTINENCE is the best, impressing the religious, moral and physical benefits/implications, tell them what a CONDOM is! Yes!

Better tell them than have to deal with unwanted pregnancy or HIV/AIDS. Otherwise, they will learn from their friends and predatory men/women around them.

it’s not a joking matter
take them off the platter

If you take time to talk to your kids about their sexual developments and involvements, a lot of things may be prevented. Know how they feel about which girl or what boy.

Make them so confident in you that they tell you about who toasted them or who they toasted.

The alternative to that, which is keeping quiet or being aggressive towards all things sexual, without offering explanations is regret – you will regret when the unbelievable happens.

I have a male friend who was abused for 5 years by 2 sisters living in the same compound with his parents.

There was also a 16 year old lad that impregnated his 14 year old sister right under their parent's roof.

In Abuja, a 9 year old girl became a shared prostitute for a 50+ old man and a jobless 27 year old graduate. They only give her sweet and food for her sex services.

look, predators are watching
your little one they're stalking

We have the predators in our homes (husbands, uncles, aunties, sibling, neighbours) in the schools (teachers and fellow students), in the corners and roads (rapists and others). So there is need for caution.

Educate your children.

Teach them decency, modesty and caution – take them off the platter of abuse...for sex is now a meal!

Be Responsible

I was travelling in a bus of recent and their was a woman sitting in front of me, the woman threw something through the window into the street, I told the woman that, if I happen to be in power I would have prosecute her for doing such barbaric act. And guess the next thing... She turn it into an hot argument trying to defend her shameful act and shifting the blame on...