Are Fathers Failing

I wonder why many women always complain about man negligence towards the family and the ordeal they have experience in the hand of man. I have met many woman that have the same experience of what they have face in the hand of man that don't care about the children and their wife and I keep wondering what is wrong with our fathers and I can't stop asking, Are Fathers Really Failing, Where Are Fathers Failing and Why Are Fathers Failing. Are Fathers Really Failing

                                                    Are Fathers Really Failing

 Let me make this clear before will proceed that Father is different from a Man with children, if so who is a Father?

Bridget Elesin said in her book called Fathers You Must Take the Lead that some men are sperm donor. You know during fertilization both partner will donate half/half, man will produce sperm while the woman will produce the egg before fertilization can occur, 

She make it clear that some man father role ends here after fertilization, they don't care about the baby nor the woman again. Then who is a Father?

                                                  Who Is A Father

A Father can be a Man or a Woman, what makes a person a Father is how they can take care of the family, care for them, provide all their needs, paying of the children bills, playing with them, helping them and spending time with them. Most men only think that their role as a father is to supply the family with money to get what they want without caring how the fare, most men see their family as a burden on them, most children don't even recognize their father why would they?, when it is only the mother they see often, that care for them even their fees, they believe it is from their mother because father are not always there.

The Bible says "teach your children and when he grow he will not depart from it" no wonder their are increase in crime rate in this generation such as robbery, killing, drug lord, gangsters, raping and terrorism to mention but little, all this can be trace to poor fatherly role in their life Many fathers are failing in this aspect .

                                               Where Are Fathers Failing

 Some Fathers are failing no doubt and if they are where are they failing?

For us to say this is where fathers are failing we must first know the role of fathers.

 What are the roles of Fathers The role of fathers are everything in the family but to mention little they are:-

1-      Good Example:- life of a father is like a book the children read, Fathers are watched, their actions, and deeds, fathers are to be a good example in character and conversation.

2-       Teacher:- Bridget Elesin said in her book that the Jew (The Israeli) have very few numbers of people in prisons because they have fathers to teach them right from their infant to adult. Fathers are teacher they are to teach their children good manner and moral lessons, in the ways of God the Bible says "Teach your children the way he should go, and when he grows he shall not depart from it.

3-      Provider:- Providing for the family is one of the crucial role of fathers they are to provide everything that is needed by their children and their wife like money, food, love and gift etc

4-      Priest:- Fathers are like spiritual being which their children look up to, to learn all the ways of The Lord from and should always teach them how to pray and encouraging them spiritually

5-      Love,

6-      Servant,

7-      Trainer,

8-       Companion and

9-      Playmate.

If you study the roles fathers listed above, you will see some roles of Father where some fathers are failing, some father don't live an exemplary life they preach "do as I say not do as I do" and research shows that children learn quick with what they see, some fathers have lost the trust of their family, they don't trust them, when you promise and fail to fulfill it,

Fathers cheat on their mother and you don't keep your word there is no way you can be trust by them,

 Love, most men don't love their wife and the moment the children can detect this no way for them to love you back.

If you study the fathers that have or are failing, you will discover that all the point listed above is where they have failed

                                           Why Are Fathers Failing

                         "What you don't have you cannot give"

I study the life of fathers that are failing and those that have failed as a father and I can see that during their childhood their fathers also failed, they failed to show them what fathers are to his children and most of our present fathers grow to learn that being a father has no to task play (only to be a sperm donor) and that only the mother are left to care for the kids., this is what there own father did in their own time and its sad that what their father don't show them they can't show their own children, what their father don give them they can't give it to their children because they don't have it.

And another reason why fathers fails is illiteracy, most of our grand fathers and fathers are polygamous in nature, they marry many wives and have lots of children which they cannot train and some don't attend schools or drop out of school in their youth due to polygamy family they came from, and struggling to make money for the family, some also use the children to raise money too and their are some useless father that see them self as the Lord of the house caring less about the family and keep increasing the numbers.

Poverty can also be link to the reason for the failure of some fathers, when the father have no enough money to cater for his family, he will be avoiding or even left his family when he can no longer cope. (This is very common in the western world like Europe America and the rest)

Another reason why some father fail is lack of role model or bad role model, findings shows that people are likely to behave just like the person they look up to as role model.

 In a situation where a man has a bad role model or doesn't have, he will always behave just like the role model.

Now that we have talk about where and why fathers are failing I think will need to talk on how to stop it, that coming fathers will not join the league of failed fathers

The first thing I will suggest is choose a.

1 Role Model , by selecting a role model will make you decide the type of father you want to be by following the behavior of your model.

2 Read Books:- Reading of related Books can also help you becoming a good father, there are many of them but I will suggest one for you latter.

3 Decision:- Making the decision that you will not fail as a father will make you work daily towards achieving the goal you set

4 Pray while you go- it is only the grace of God that can help you become a good father, so rely on Him and He will see you through.

 For more on this subject Get Fathers You Must Take the Lead by Bridget Elesin you can get the review of the book and how to get it on ToluBooks here  www.tolubooks.com/2013/05/buy-now-fathers-you-must-take-lead.html

Welcome to the new world of successful fathers 

And please drop your comment for us to know how to serve you better thanks

Sex Education To The Young

 Sex education,orientation. To the young

SEX: TAKE YOUR CHILD OFF THE PLATTER
we didn't speak of sex
until virginity became ex

Sex is not a meal, everyone eats it. But it is not so much the eating as WHO does the eating.

Some little children in primary school will amaze you with their knowledge of the ‘Theory and Practice of Sex’.

Sad thing is many of them were initiated by much older predators, sometimes close uncles and aunties.

Worse still, it is the girls that suffer the most. They are the ones that risk getting pregnant, socially stigmatised and suffer the dashing of promising futures.

It’s sad indeed.

we didn't speak of decency
until abuse triggered urgency

So when I listen to young lads and lasses talking about sex and relationships these days, I just shudder.

The other day, I wrote about a 17 year old that I overheard telling his same-age friend about his lovers who discovered he had been playing them both, and having sex with them!

Hmm!

little boy knows the path
he's given many breasts a pat

Well, not long ago, a 6 year old girl I used to playfully call my wife told me she wanted to tell me something.

"Tell me," I said. At that time she was sitting on my laps in their living room, with her father and mother present.

What she whispered into my ear shocked me.

"You said I'm your wife. So when are we going to have a baby?"

I was shocked, but she was not done. "Mummy and daddy did it yesterday."

I was embarrassed beyond my wits. Thank God no one else heard what she said. So I quietly dropped the girl to the next chair to me and never played with her again.

little girl fears not the pestle
she's pleased the rough and gentle

Just imagine if I was a paedophile, looking for preys? Isn’t that a free ticket to warped pleasure?

Hmm!

After some investigations, I realised that the parents watch all sorts of films, even those with clear sex scenes, with the girl and her little sister watching. Add this with the other times the girl must have caught her parents having sex.

In some other families it is not a case of access to such pornographic situations that damage the children; it is the lack of parental guidance!
Some parents think it is not good to tell their children about sex.

No, it is not wrong. If you don’t tell them about it and what to do in every situation, including pregnancy and disease preventive methods, someone else will tell them.

Even as you hammer it into their ears that ABSTINENCE is the best, impressing the religious, moral and physical benefits/implications, tell them what a CONDOM is! Yes!

Better tell them than have to deal with unwanted pregnancy or HIV/AIDS. Otherwise, they will learn from their friends and predatory men/women around them.

it’s not a joking matter
take them off the platter

If you take time to talk to your kids about their sexual developments and involvements, a lot of things may be prevented. Know how they feel about which girl or what boy.

Make them so confident in you that they tell you about who toasted them or who they toasted.

The alternative to that, which is keeping quiet or being aggressive towards all things sexual, without offering explanations is regret – you will regret when the unbelievable happens.

I have a male friend who was abused for 5 years by 2 sisters living in the same compound with his parents.

There was also a 16 year old lad that impregnated his 14 year old sister right under their parent's roof.

In Abuja, a 9 year old girl became a shared prostitute for a 50+ old man and a jobless 27 year old graduate. They only give her sweet and food for her sex services.

look, predators are watching
your little one they're stalking

We have the predators in our homes (husbands, uncles, aunties, sibling, neighbours) in the schools (teachers and fellow students), in the corners and roads (rapists and others). So there is need for caution.

Educate your children.

Teach them decency, modesty and caution – take them off the platter of abuse...for sex is now a meal!

Be Responsible

I was travelling in a bus of recent and their was a woman sitting in front of me, the woman threw something through the window into the street, I told the woman that, if I happen to be in power I would have prosecute her for doing such barbaric act. And guess the next thing... She turn it into an hot argument trying to defend her shameful act and shifting the blame on...

Key Fact To Success

Many always say that the way to success is rough and that only the rugged can go through, I will only agree to this if you lack the key fact to success but the moment you understand what it takes to be successful then you will know that the way to success is not a rough way.
 If you don't know the key to success that will make the way to success easy for you, don't worry just relax and come with me as I share with you the key fact you need to know on your journey to success.

Throne

Suddenly I met myself in the dust,

 Where I identified nobody at all,

 But I had been fed with her breast
,
 She claimed to be my mother

, To have cared of me for a thousand hours,

 Another claimed to be my father,

 Who promised me to be there forever,

 I do not know when father faded away,

 Like the sun saying goodbye to day,

 Very much in the same way,

 The night dawned with mother betrayed…


Now I need to find my way in this chaotic race,

 In which there is neither glory nor grace, 

 By myself life is not easy to face,

 It is dark when I see I am alone, 

Like a blind man I hesitate and falter,
  

writen by TANIMOWO GBENGA

Special Valentine Gift

Welcome, you lovers in some couple of days now it will be valentine and valentine is all about sharing of love and sharing of gift that is why I think all our views deserve a nice gift that is why we are giving out this just for you the perfect valentine gift ever.

What type of gift am talking about, you know we are in the mood of love as they say " love is in the air" so what we are going to share is about love that will make your valentine a memorable and may go other way round but I bet you this is the gift that suite you better But the gift is limited, to get yours now visit here www.mosesadeyinka.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-acid-test-for-love.html  to claim yours Hurry while stock last (limited offer) and it is first come first serve

7 Potential Dream Killer

Welcome to the long awaited year 2014 and am wishing you a prosperous and a successful year Without doubt 2013 is a glorious year for many and a year dreams of many come true but some peoples dream did not come true all what they dreamt to archive in the year did not come to pass and many feel guilty and looks like a failure but you are not a failure and you are not responsible for all the cause of the failure there are many things you are not aware of that make the dream not to come alive as you want it. I also have a goal that I was unable to archive last year and when the year end I was sad and guilty of my failure, but I did not let that weigh me down, I look into it to find out what went wrong, why I did not archive my goal and what I did wrong. I discover 7 reasons why I was unable to archive my goals and the reasons why the dream did not come true, am very sure this will be part of the reason why you are unable to archive your goal and fulfill your dream. If you can study all the reason and act on them am very sure 2014 will be the best year ever, I call it 7 potential dream killer and here they are: 

Potential dream killers

1. People:- Brian Tracy said "never do or refrain from doing something just because you are concerned about what people might think about you. The fact is that nobody is even thinking about you at all." Of. Course, I am not talking about criminal or antisocial behaviors. But it is amazing how many people make decisions to get into or to not into business, new endeavors, adventure, relationship, carrier and other things for the fear that someone else might not approve. The truth is that no one cares more about your key life decisions than you do. There is a saying that " enemy of progress" there are many people that will want to change your mind about what you decide to do but it remains you decision to go with the opinion or not. Plan accordingly 

2. Societal expectation This is one of the key factor that hold many down from archiving there goals for example in my own case, my dad want me to attend college in some part of the country and what is expecting of me did not go with the dream that I have in mind. Many to are experiencing this too, do you want to quit your job to pursue your dream job and you know your family will not support you because they think the money will not be coming again. Or people are expecting something from you that you know that is not in line with your plan. All you have to do is try explain to them and stick to your plan come rain come fire.

3. Fear of the unknown:-many after drawing out of their plan they got scared that how can I archive it, how can I become this thing or can I succeed, yes you can! Remember what you are thinking is what sink in, what you can't see you can't become. Remove every everything that make you look inferior or look like you can never archive it. Nothing is impossible

4. Debt:- there is a saying that "cut your cut according to you material" but many change it to cut your coat according to your size which should not to be so, you must try and live within your income and make sure your budget did not pass your income for you not to stop working on your dream because of debt

5. The pursuit of job security:- many never fulfill there dream or archive what they plan to archive because of they don't want to loose there job and many never archive their goal or fulfill there dream because they are afraid to loose there job in pursuit if there dream, the moment you realize that you have to pay some price for you to fulfill your dream, the fear of loosing any job will not hold you back because you have set your mind on a thing and nothing will ever change your mind unless you want to.

6. Personal insecurity and a lack of self confidence:- this is the most common reason why many never fulfill there dream because they feel they are not worthy or they don't have what it takes to be what they dream to become, if you lack confidence that you cant fulfill it, its your choice but there nothing you can not archive all you need is confidence and high self esteem, stop looking yourself as a less qualify person for the task because you can learn anything you need to learn, to accomplish any goal you set for yourself. No one is smarter than you and no one is better than you.

7. The competitive mentality (winning the rat race):- many today lost what they plan to do or forget about the goal the set for them self in rat race, during the process of trying to be better than your competitor you loose focused and change your mind and many conclude "if you can't beat them then join them" If you now keep running the rat race like them and forget about the goal you set and what is funny about this rat race is even if you won you will still be a rat, if you keep running with, after or before them you will always have the mentality of a competitor and not a force to reckon with. I don't say is not good to set standard and look up to people that are far above you. But try to be yourself and what is affecting them and what is stopping them will never stop you. Be the best you can be.

Am very sure if you put all this in place, avoid some and "Work while you work”, work towards it by the end of this year you will be surprise with the achievement you will archive. But all things for good for those that love God, keep paying and being good God bless.

please drop your comment to know how this have help.