I wonder why many women always
complain about man negligence towards the family and the ordeal they have
experience in the hand of man. I have met many woman that have the same
experience of what they have face in the hand of man that don't care about the children
and their wife and I keep wondering what is wrong with our fathers and I can't
stop asking, Are Fathers Really Failing, Where Are Fathers Failing and Why Are
Fathers Failing. Are Fathers Really Failing
Are Fathers Really Failing
Let me make this clear before will proceed that
Father is different from a Man with children, if so who is a Father?
Bridget Elesin said in her book
called Fathers You Must Take the Lead that some men are sperm donor. You know
during fertilization both partner will donate half/half, man will produce sperm
while the woman will produce the egg before fertilization can occur,
She make
it clear that some man father role ends here after fertilization, they don't
care about the baby nor the woman again. Then who is a Father?
Who Is A Father
A Father can be a Man or a Woman,
what makes a person a Father is how they can take care of the family, care for
them, provide all their needs, paying of the children bills, playing with them,
helping them and spending time with them. Most men only think that their role
as a father is to supply the family with money to get what they want without
caring how the fare, most men see their family as a burden on them, most
children don't even recognize their father why would they?, when it is only the
mother they see often, that care for them even their fees, they believe it is
from their mother because father are not always there.
The Bible says "teach your children and when he grow he will
not depart from it" no wonder their are increase in crime rate in this
generation such as robbery, killing, drug lord, gangsters, raping and terrorism
to mention but little, all this can be trace to poor fatherly role in their life
Many fathers are failing in this aspect .
Where
Are Fathers Failing
Some Fathers are failing no doubt and if they
are where are they failing?
For us to say this is where fathers
are failing we must first know the role of fathers.
What are the roles of Fathers The role of
fathers are everything in the family but to mention little they are:-
1-
Good Example:-
life of a father is like a book the children read, Fathers are watched, their
actions, and deeds, fathers are to be a good example in character and
conversation.
2-
Teacher:-
Bridget Elesin said in her book that the Jew (The Israeli) have very few
numbers of people in prisons because they have fathers to teach them right from
their infant to adult. Fathers are teacher they are to teach their children
good manner and moral lessons, in the ways of God the Bible says "Teach your children the way he should go,
and when he grows he shall not depart from it.
3-
Provider:-
Providing for the family is one of the crucial role of fathers they are to
provide everything that is needed by their children and their wife like money,
food, love and gift etc
4-
Priest:-
Fathers are like spiritual being which their children look up to, to learn all
the ways of The Lord from and should always teach them how to pray and
encouraging them spiritually
5-
Love,
6-
Servant,
7-
Trainer,
8-
Companion and
9-
Playmate.
If you study the roles fathers listed above, you will see
some roles of Father where some fathers are failing, some father don't live an exemplary
life they preach "do as I say not do as I do" and research shows that
children learn quick with what they see, some fathers have lost the trust of
their family, they don't trust them, when you promise and fail to fulfill it,
Fathers cheat on their mother and you don't keep your word
there is no way you can be trust by them,
Love, most men don't
love their wife and the moment the children can detect this no way for them to
love you back.
If you study the fathers that have or are failing, you will
discover that all the point listed above is where they have failed
Why Are Fathers Failing
"What you don't have you cannot give"
I study the life of fathers that are failing and those that
have failed as a father and I can see that during their childhood their fathers
also failed, they failed to show them what fathers are to his children and most
of our present fathers grow to learn that being a father has no to task play
(only to be a sperm donor) and that only the mother are left to care for the
kids., this is what there own father did in their own time and its sad that
what their father don't show them they can't show their own children, what
their father don give them they can't give it to their children because they
don't have it.
And another reason why fathers fails is illiteracy, most of
our grand fathers and fathers are polygamous in nature, they marry many wives
and have lots of children which they cannot train and some don't attend schools
or drop out of school in their youth due to polygamy family they came from, and
struggling to make money for the family, some also use the children to raise
money too and their are some useless father that see them self as the Lord of
the house caring less about the family and keep increasing the numbers.
Poverty can also be link to the reason for the failure of
some fathers, when the father have no enough money to cater for his family, he
will be avoiding or even left his family when he can no longer cope. (This is
very common in the western world like Europe America and the rest)
Another reason why some father fail
is lack of role model or bad role model, findings shows that people are likely
to behave just like the person they look up to as role model.
In a situation where a man has a bad role
model or doesn't have, he will always behave just like the role model.
Now that we have talk about where
and why fathers are failing I think will need to talk on how to stop it, that
coming fathers will not join the league of failed fathers
The first thing I will suggest is
choose a.
1 Role Model , by selecting a role model will make you decide the
type of father you want to be by following the behavior of your model.
2 Read Books:- Reading of related Books can also help you becoming a
good father, there are many of them but I will suggest one for you latter.
3 Decision:- Making the decision that you will not fail as a father
will make you work daily towards achieving the goal you set
4 Pray while you go- it is only the grace of God that can help you
become a good father, so rely on Him and He will see you through.
For more on this subject Get Fathers You Must Take the Lead by Bridget Elesin you
can get the review of the book and how to get it on ToluBooks here www.tolubooks.com/2013/05/buy-now-fathers-you-must-take-lead.html
Welcome to the new world of
successful fathers
And please drop your comment for us
to know how to serve you better thanks
